Facing Challenges
by Mulderette
Summary: The team members, especially Callen, face some difficult challenges after the mission in Mexico. (Contains spoilers for the season 9 finale)
1. Chapter 1

_Well, this is the first time I've attempted writing anything in a few months. This idea is kind of a cliché and I'm pretty unsure of it, but it was the first time I've been inspired so I just went with it. Hopefully, it will get me back to my other stories. In any case, thanks for reading._

xxxxx

As he finally started to regain consciousness, the first thing he became aware of was the excruciating pain in his upper left leg. He groaned softly and felt someone take his hand. "Shh…don't try to move, Sam. You've lost a lot of blood," the soft, familiar voice said to him.

It took him a moment to place who was speaking as he opened his eyes feeling a combination of shock and relief. "Hidoko? I…we thought you were dead."

Hidoko shook her head and gave him a concerned smile. "I could say the same about you."

At that point, Sam began to take in his surroundings as he realized that he was in a medevac helicopter and the previous events began to come back to him. "G!" He turned his head in search of his partner and quickly found him being administered to by medical personnel. "G!" he repeated louder.

"He's being taken care of," Hidoko explained quietly. "You need to just rest right now, Sam."

"What's wrong with him?" Sam persisted. His gaze traveled and he found Kensi, sitting beside Deeks who was also being attended to. "Kens? Are you alright?"

Kensi turned to Sam, her face mapped with small cuts and abrasions. There was also a bandage on her forehead. "I'm okay, Sam," she replied. "You need to take it easy. Everything's okay."

Kensi's words didn't match her concerned expression and did nothing to reassure Sam. "Is Deeks alright?" Sam could see Deeks lying down, a pained look on his face as he was being examined.

"I'm fine, Sam," Deeks replied before Kensi had a chance to say anything. Sam didn't think Deeks looked very fine at all, but he said nothing as his attention once again returned to his partner. "Is G okay?"

"They're still evaluating him," Hidoko replied. "Try not to worry. We're going to be landing soon." Sam nodded his head, trying to stay alert to find out more about his teammates, but the pain and loss of blood got the better of him and he found himself unable to keep his eyes open any longer.

xxxxx

Hetty sighed softly as she continued to keep vigil over Callen. The team had been brought in to the medical center over 24 hours ago and he had yet to regain consciousness. She took his hand and softly began to speak to him once again in the hopes that he would begin to come around. "I had a bad feeling from the very beginning of this mission, but I had really hoped that you wouldn't feel the need to prove me right, Mr. Callen."

"Hetty?" Hetty looked up to see Sam enter the room, leaning heavily on a cane.

"Mr. Hanna, you should be in bed. Did you get permission to be roaming around the hospital?"

"How is he?" Sam asked, ignoring Hetty's question as he looked at his partner with obvious concern. Seeing G attached to various monitors, as well as a ventilator, was enough to tell him that his partner was not doing well, but he was compelled to ask the question anyway.

"The doctors will be able to tell us more when he regains consciousness," Hetty said. She refused to even voice the possibility that he might never wake up. She looked at Sam closely and could easily see that he didn't look particularly well. "Mr. Hanna, if you insist on staying here, please sit down before you fall down."

Sam didn't need to be told twice. He did as Hetty wanted and sat down in the other empty chair by Callen's bedside. "How are Kensi and Deeks?" he asked after a long silence.

"Mr. Deeks sustained a number of injuries including broken ribs and a fractured wrist. Ms. Blye is relatively unscathed except for some cuts and bruises. She was admitted for observation but is expected to be released today."

Sam nodded, glad that the injuries of the younger team members weren't life-threatening. His gaze traveled back to his partner who was pale and appeared alarmingly fragile to Sam. "If you need to take a break, I'm not going anywhere," he said.

"I'm fine right now, Mr. Hanna, thank you," Hetty said. She didn't have the heart to leave Callen yet. She was very much afraid of what could happen to him in her absence. She couldn't help but think about the time he had been shot on Venice Beach and the numerous times during that hospitalization when he had been close to death. She had been very much afraid of losing him.

"Okay, well the offer stands," Sam said with a nod although he totally understood Hetty's reluctance to leave Callen's side. He felt the same way. Realizing they might be in for a long wait, Sam made himself as comfortable as he could as he silently said a prayer that his partner and best friend would wake up soon.

xxxxx

Kensi sat by Deeks' side, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest as he slept. He had been in a lot of pain and had been heavily medicated to enable him to get some much needed rest. He suddenly moaned and moved about restlessly in his sleep. "Shh…it's okay, baby," Kensi whispered as she gently put her hand on Deeks' forehead and brushed his hair back with her fingers.

"Kensi?" he murmured, barely able to open his eyes. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine, Deeks," Kensi said softly. "You really need to rest. Just close your eyes and sleep."

"What about the others?" Deeks persisted as he tried to escape the effects of the heavy medication. "Are Sam and Callen okay?"

"Sam's okay," Kensi replied. "The last I heard, Callen was still unconscious."

"We…we should check on them," Deeks said. At that point he was no longer able to resist the medication effects and he quickly dropped off to sleep once again.

xxxxx

Hetty finally decided to take a short break and returned to Callen's room carrying a bag and a tray with two cups in it, which she handed off to Sam. "You need to keep up your strength if you insist on being here."

Knowing that Hetty was right, and also that refusing her would prove futile, Sam nodded. The two then sat quietly as they ate their dinner. "So," Sam began when they were finished. "You never said how we were rescued." He didn't remember anything past the rocket hit to their SUV.

"Turk was able to get some men together and got there without a moment to spare," Hetty began. "He joined forces with Hidoko on the way and they were able to rescue you."

"We really owe that guy," Sam said as he looked at Hetty. "And you too for hooking us up with him."

"I'm just sorry I wasn't able to do more to keep you safe," Hetty said, her eyes on Callen once again.

"Hetty, you did everything you could to keep us safe," Sam said. "More than anyone, you know how this job works."

"Yes, that's true," Hetty said. "But it doesn't make it any easier when you and your teammates are put in harm's way."

"We all know what we signed up for," Sam said quietly, also turning his attention to Callen.

"Even so, it didn't have to go down the way it did," Hetty stated. "The executive assistant director has a lot she's going to have to answer for."

"Well, at least we got her son back," Sam said.

"Yes, but at what cost?" Hetty asked, wondering if the man who was like a son to her was going to end up paying for this mission with his life.

xxxxx

At 3:30 a.m., Deeks awoke abruptly as a sharp dagger of pain shot through his side into his chest. "Damn," he muttered, trying to control his breathing to keep the pain at bay.

"Deeks?" Kensi got up from the empty bed she was lying on and went over to him. "Are you in pain? Do you need the nurse?"

"I'm fine," he said, his face expressionless as he spoke. "You shouldn't be here, Kensi. You should go home."

"I want to be here," Kensi said.

"It would be good for Monty if you were at the house with him," Deeks continued.

"You know Jimmy is taking good care of Monty, Deeks," Kensi said, referring to a neighborhood college student who walked the dog daily and cared for him when they were away. "I'll stop by the house tomorrow though and check on him if it will make you feel better."

Deeks didn't respond. As far as he was concerned nothing was going to make him feel better right now. Everything was messed up and he didn't know if there was any way to fix it.

"Deeks? I'll check on Monty, okay?"

"Fine, Kensi," he finally responded in a monotone. He closed his eyes and tried to even out his breathing, pretending to sleep. He was pretty sure he wasn't fooling Kensi, but he didn't want to talk to her anymore. He just didn't have the physical or the emotional capability to do so.

xxxxx

The next morning, Hetty took a break to go get breakfast for herself and Sam. "I'm sure this isn't the greatest tea or breakfast in the world," she said, handing Sam a cup and a Styrofoam container, "but I suppose it's better than nothing."

"I'm sure it's just fine, Hetty," Sam replied. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome, Mr. Hanna."

"I really wish he'd wake up," Sam said as he took a sip of his coffee and opened his breakfast container. He didn't voice his inner thoughts that the longer Callen remained unconscious, the smaller his chances were for a full recovery.

"I have a strong feeling that today is going to bring about some good news," Hetty stated.

"Well, I hope you're right," Sam said as he moved his scrambled eggs around with his fork. They didn't look particularly appetizing.

"Sam…not eating isn't going to help you and it certainly won't help your partner either," Hetty admonished lightly.

"I know," Sam said as he forced himself to eat a forkful of the rubbery concoction.

The pair then set about attempting to eat their meals. "I think we'd be best served by getting lunch somewhere outside the hospital this afternoon," Hetty said a short time later as she put aside her mostly uneaten breakfast sandwich.

Sam quickly nodded in agreement as he closed the lid on his breakfast container and sipped his coffee which, thankfully, was better than the food.

xxxxx

It was shortly after 10 a.m. when Sam noticed the first positive sign. Callen moved his head slightly and then his hand. Sam put his hand over Callen's and whispered, "G…hey buddy, can you hear me?" Callen's eyes slowly opened and almost immediately things began to go downhill. Callen looked bewildered and panicked as the reading on his heart monitor started rising at an alarming pace. Sam and Hetty both attempted to calm him, but their efforts proved futile. Medical staff arrived in the room moments later and quickly ushered Sam and Hetty out into the hallway.

"Did you see how scared he looked?" Sam asked after a few moments of silence. He couldn't help but be troubled to have seen the uncustomary fear which had been present in his best friend's eyes.

Hetty slowly shook her head. "He was likely just very confused and disoriented. I think he just needs some time to clear his head and make sense of everything that happened."

Sam nodded, but he wasn't quite sure he agreed. He couldn't put his finger on it, but he was pretty sure there was something more to the look he had seen on G's face.

After a 40-minute wait, which seemed like forever, Callen's doctor, Dr. Perez, finally came out of the room. "Can we go somewhere to speak privately?" he asked.

"Of course," Hetty replied.

"Is G okay?" Sam asked.

Dr. Perez nodded. "He's sleeping right now."

Sam and Hetty exchanged a look then followed the doctor down the hallway into a small office. He turned on the light and closed the door. "Please take a seat."

"So what's wrong with him?" Sam asked, as soon as the three were seated.

"Well…it's his memory…"

"What about it?" Hetty asked. "Does he not remember what happened to him?"

Dr. Perez shook his head. "It's not just that," he said slowly. "At the moment, he doesn't remember anything at all."

"Nothing?" Sam asked, stunned by this unexpected piece of information. "As in, he doesn't even know who he is?"

"At the time I questioned him, he didn't," Dr. Perez stated. "I believe he's suffering from post-traumatic amnesia."

"How long does that last?" Sam asked.

"There's no real way of telling," Dr. Perez replied. "I'm going to run some more tests on him, but there's a good chance they won't tell us anything. It could be very short-term or could last for hours, days, weeks, even months. Hopefully, it will just be short-term. In any case, I'd like you both to be there when he awakens again." He paused for a few moments to allow Hetty and Sam to digest what he had told them before continuing. "Also, please be aware that it's very important to remain calm and don't let him see you upset. No matter how distressing his condition may be to you, understand that its much worse for him."

"We can do that," Sam replied and Hetty nodded in agreement.

"Good," said Dr. Perez as he stood up. "Let's get back to him then and we'll see if your presence has any effect on him."

Sam and Hetty stood up as well then apprehensively headed back in the direction of Callen's room.


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks so much for the overwhelming response to the first chapter of this story. You're all so nice and I really appreciate those who took the time to review I'm sorry its taken so long to get the next part out, but hopefully things are getting better. I'm definitely writing more again these days._

xxxxx

Callen appeared to be asleep when Hetty and Sam returned to his room. They took their former seats by his bedside and silently resumed waiting. Dr. Perez checked the readings on Callen's monitors, then made a few notations on his chart. "I'll be back in a bit," he said quietly to Hetty and Sam. "Just remember not to upset him if he wakes up before I return."

It wasn't long after the doctor had left the room before Callen began to stir, moaning softly as he did so. His eyes then opened and he stared at Sam and Hetty, appearing very uneasy.

"Hello, Mr. Callen," Hetty said, smiling at him as she gently took his hand. "I'm Hetty. We've been very worried about you and are glad to see you're doing better."

Callen just stared at her, not saying a word.

"Hey, G...I'm Sam. I'm your best friend. How are you feeling?" Sam forced a smile as Callen turned his eyes toward him, but there was no recognition in them whatsoever.

"Can we get you anything?" Hetty asked, trying to get some kind of a response out of Callen, other than the eerie stare he was giving them.

Callen continued to stare at Hetty for a few more moments before he slowly shook his head.

"What's wrong, G?" Sam asked.

Callen didn't speak, but his breathing was becoming more rapid and he was obviously anxious.

"There's nothing to be scared about," Hetty said gently as she patted his hand affectionately. "We're all very good friends."

"I'm not scared," Callen snapped, finally speaking as he tugged his hand away from Hetty's grasp.

Hetty and Sam exchanged glances, unsure of how to deal with the situation. They didn't want to upset Callen any more than he already was.

"I think you should leave," Callen stated. The tone of his voice was a lot harsher than the look in his eyes, but Hetty and Sam didn't want to push him.

"We'll go, Mr. Callen," Hetty said, "but we'll be back. Perhaps then we'll be able to talk further and answer any questions you might have."

Callen was silent once again and his troubled gaze followed the pair as they left the room. He then breathed a sigh of relief as he closed his eyes to try to sleep, wanting to block out the confusion and uncertainty that surrounded him.

xxxxx

"That wasn't good," Sam said after they had left Callen alone.

"No...no it wasn't," Hetty replied, "but at least, he's improving. He's conscious and that's the most important thing at the moment. I believe the rest will come in time."

"He doesn't even want to be around us," Sam stated, clearly bothered by what had transpired with his partner.

"We're just strangers to him right now, Mr. Hanna," Hetty said. "Hopefully, as we continue to visit him, he'll become more comfortable with us and things will progress from there."

Sam ran his hand over his face. He was exhausted and was finding the whole situation difficult to deal with. Hetty looked at him thoughtfully. "Sam...you really need to get some rest. I think one night in your own bed would do wonders for you You seem to forget you're still healing yourself." Hetty gave an exaggerated look at Sam's leg to illustrate her point.

Sam pondered Hetty's suggestion for only a few moments before he shook his head. "I don't want to leave him right now."

"Even in his current state? We can't keep forcing ourselves on him if he doesn't want us there. It's not going to help matters and may make things even worse."

"You don't understand, Hetty," Sam began to explain. "When G was infected with the spiral bio weapon, he was really grateful to have me there with him, I just think…"

"Mr. Hanna," Hetty interrupted gently as she placed her hand on Sam's arm. "I understand that you want to be there for your partner, but you need to understand that he's in a very different mindset than anything we have ever seen before. Right now, I think we need to abide by Mr. Callen's wishes. If you don't want to go home for the whole night, at least go back to your boat for a few hours, take a shower, eat a good meal and get a bit of rest. Then you can return here, refreshed and with a clear mind. I will be here for him while you're gone. I'm going to go see how Mr. Deeks is doing and then I will be back here to watch over him."

Sam tried to think of a reason to debate with Hetty further, but truthfully, he knew that she was right. "Okay," he said. "I'm not going to be gone long though. I just...I don't feel right about being away from him for too long, especially if he regains his memory. He's going to wonder why he's alone."

Hetty nodded, not having the heart to say that she didn't think that was going to happen as soon as Sam was hoping. She hoped more than anything that she was wrong, but she had a feeling they were going to be in for a long and bumpy ride.

xxxxx

Hetty walked into Deeks' room, a little surprised not to see Kensi by his side. Then again, she was sure the young woman was exhausted and likely had needed to take a break. Deeks was asleep, but it didn't appear to be a peaceful sleep. Every once in a while, he would murmur something incoherently and move about fitfully, as if he was uncomfortable, even in his sleep.

Hetty went to sit down in the chair beside Deeks' bed and he immediately opened his eyes, appearing startled.

"Oh I'm very sorry, Mr. Deeks," Hetty said. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Hetty." Deeks took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, wincing a bit at the sharp pain in his ribs. "How are you?"

"I believe it's me who should be asking you that question, isn't it?" Hetty asked.

"I'm fine," Deeks answered, not at all convincingly.

"Hmm…" Hetty didn't contradict him, but she didn't believe him for a second.

"How's Callen?" Deeks asked.

"Well, he is definitely improving," Hetty said. "He's regained consciousness which is a very good sign, but..."

Deeks looked at Hetty suspiciously. "But what?

Hetty sighed softly. "Unfortunately, at the moment, Mr. Callen is suffering from amnesia."

Deeks' eyes widened in disbelief. "Amnesia? Seriously?" That was one thing he hadn't expected to hear. "How bad? I mean, total amnesia, like he doesn't know who anyone is?"

Hetty nodded. "That's exactly what I mean. At least he doesn't know who Sam and I are."

"Wow…" Deeks took a few moments to digest this newest bit of information. "I wonder if he'll know who I am? Maybe I can say something to jog his memory."

"Well, his doctor says that we shouldn't do anything to upset him," Hetty said. "So when you are able to go and see him, you'll need to be very careful with what you say."

"I wouldn't say anything to upset him," Deeks said, a bit annoyed at what he felt was an insinuation that he would.

"Hmm…" Hetty decided a change in subject was in order. "Are you comfortable enough?" she asked. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

Deeks shook his head. "I'm good. I don't need anything, thanks."

Hetty studied him for a few moments. He was obviously unhappy although she wasn't sure why. "Are you sure you're not in too much pain? I can call somebody for you."

Deeks shook his head again. "I said I was good, Hetty."

There was a long silence between them before Hetty spoke again. "I'm surprised that Ms. Blye isn't with you. Is she off taking a break?"

Deeks nervously bit his lip and didn't meet Hetty's eyes. He definitely wasn't going to talk about his and Kensi's relationship with her. "She went to the house to check on Monty. She'll probably be back soon." Or maybe she wouldn't be. Things were far from normal between them.

"Well, I know that Monty will be very happy to see her," Hetty said. "I'm sure he misses both of you."

"I miss him too," Deeks said, a hint of sadness in his blue eyes.

"Well, you'll be able to see him very soon. Speaking of which, is there any word on when you might be released from the hospital?"

"As far as I'm concerned, I should be able to leave now, but I think they're making me stay at least until tomorrow," Deeks replied, unable to hide his discouragement at having to spend another night in the hospital.

"A decision I agree with," Hetty said. "I see no reason for you to go rushing home, although I know Ms. Blye would prove to be quite a capable nurse." Hetty gave Deeks a smile which he didn't return. "Is there something you'd like to talk about?" Hetty could see that there was something seriously troubling the young detective and she wanted to help him if she could. "Or if you don't want to speak to me, perhaps I should call Ms. B…"

"No!" Deeks snapped quickly, interrupting her. "I don't want you to call Kensi. Just let her rest...please just keep out of it, Hetty. Please."

"All right," Hetty answered calmly, not wanting the situation to escalate any further. Hopefully, whatever the problem was, which she now strongly suspected was between him and Ms. Blye, it would be resolved quickly. "I'll leave you alone so you can get some rest. I'm only a phone call away if you need me."

"Thank you," Deeks said, nodding his head. "I...I appreciate that, Hetty."

"It's no problem at all." Hetty smiled kindly at Deeks and gently patted his hand. "You get some rest dear and feel better."

Deeks nodded again, watching as Hetty left the room then he tried to get comfortable on the bed. Feeling better sounded like such a simple request, but he knew it was anything but that.

xxxxx

Callen managed to fall asleep, but not for too long. When he awoke, he was relieved to find himself alone, but he still had no memories at all of who he was or what his life was like. He saw the remote control to the television set attached to the rail of his bed and turned on the t.v. He then began slowly and methodically scanning through the channels. He finally settled on a shopping show and began watching the overly perky saleswoman who was talking about all the features of a high end laptop computer.

"Do you need a new computer, Callen?" Kensi asked, smiling as she entered his room. "I'm sure Hetty would be more than happy to get you one. It's so good to see you with your eyes open." She walked over to Callen and pulled him into a gentle hug, but almost immediately she felt him tense up in her arms so she let him go. "What's the matter? Did I hurt you?"

"Who are you?" Callen blurted out, staring at her like she was some kind of a monster.

"Who am I?" Kensi asked as she realized something was very wrong. "Callen, it's me, Kensi...you don't recognize me?"

He pulled the covers up more tightly around his chest as if he was shielding himself from her. Kensi just looked at him, unsure of what to do or what to say. Finally, she spoke up. "We...we work together. We're very good friends. We've known each other for a long time."

Callen said nothing. He was tired of these people coming in and making him feel like he was some kind of an animal on display in the zoo.

"Callen?"

He finally spoke, frustrated and fed up with the whole situation. "You may know me, but I don't know you. As far as I'm concerned, you're just a stranger. I really don't want you here. You need to leave." He proceeded to glare at her, making it very obvious that she was not welcome.

Unsure of his diagnosis and what exactly was going on with him medically, Kensi decided to abide by his wishes. "All right...I'll go," she said softly. "You take care of yourself, Callen. I'll see you soon." Kensi then headed out, more worried than ever about the state of their team, which was currently in shambles.


	3. Chapter 3

_Thanks to those who are still reading this…_

xxxxx

Kensi was on her way back to Deeks' room when she ran into Hetty. "Ms. Blye," Hetty said, relieved to see the young woman back at the hospital. "It's very good to see you. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, Hetty," Kensi replied. She certainly was a lot better than any of the men on their team. "Did you see Deeks?"

"I did," Hetty said with a nod as she looked up at Kensi speculatively. "I can't say that he appeared to be particularly happy. However, I couldn't get him to open up about what the problem might be."

Kensi nodded, but didn't give Hetty any additional input into what was going on between her and Deeks. "I just came from seeing Callen," she said, changing the subject abruptly. "He didn't have any idea who I was."

Hetty sighed softly. "No...I don't suppose he would have. The doctor believes that he is suffering from traumatic amnesia."

"Is he going to be okay?" Kensi asked, appearing distressed at this bit of news. "How long will he be like this?"

"I assume he will be okay, eventually," Hetty said slowly. "As for how long it will last? I think that's very uncertain at this point. Hopefully, it won't be a long-term problem."

"He wasn't very happy to see me," Kensi said musingly. "He seemed like a whole different person."

"He's understandably very confused and upset," Hetty said with a nod. "He wasn't very welcoming with me or Sam either. It's a lot to process. I'm having difficulty with it myself. I can't begin to imaging how it's affecting him."

"Everything's such a mess," Kensi said softly, almost to herself.

"If there's anything you'd like to talk about…"

"I don't think so, Hetty...not right now anyway," Kensi said. She felt strongly that what was going on needed to remain between her and Deeks. She didn't want to bring others into it.

"I understand dear," Hetty said, nodding. "But if you change your mind, you can come to me at any time. You know I'll do anything I can to help."

"I know. Thank you, Hetty," Kensi said, smiling at the older woman. "But for now, I'd better get back to Deeks."

"And I will go check on Mr. Callen," Hetty said, returning Kensi's smile. She hoped that Kensi's visit with Deeks would go well. She had no idea at all what she could expect from Callen.

xxxxx

Hetty quietly stepped into Callen's room and was relieved to see him sound asleep. She sat down in the chair next to his bed and smiled fondly at him. No matter what challenges were ahead of him, she was ever so grateful that he and the others had survived. The team was closely knit and she knew they would help each other in whatever way they could to get past these latest obstacles.

Callen groaned softly and moved about restlessly in his bed before he opened his eyes. He was slightly unnerved to see that little woman back in his room. What was her name? Betty? No, that wasn't it...Hetty. He thought that was right. He stared at her silently, wondering if he had the power to make her leave with his stare. She didn't budge though and she didn't say anything either. Well, he could win at this game. He refused to speak first. He reached for the remote control and turned on the television, ignoring her. Maybe if he pretended she wasn't there, she would leave,

Hetty sighed softly to herself when Callen turned on the t.v. and looked away from her. She really had no idea how to handle him when he was just so miserable and had no idea who any of them were. Finally, she couldn't keep silent any longer. "Can I get you anything?"

"No thank you," Callen said, a slight edge to his voice. "It's getting late though. You probably should head home."

"Oh you don't have to worry about me," Hetty said lightly. "I'm quite a capable driver, even in the dark of night."

Callen rolled his eyes, making no attempt to hide his annoyance and just at that moment, Sam came back into the room, carrying a large pizza box and a bag. "Hey G," Sam said casually as he put the pizza box down on Callen's bedside tray. "I just happened to go by your favorite pizza place so I thought I'd pick you up some dinner." He leaned his cane against Callen's bed as Hetty gave him a disapproving look. He had just hooked the cane over his arm as it had been too awkward for him to use the cane and carry the pizza and bag at the same time.

"You should have called me, Sam," Hetty said. "I could have helped you."

"I'm fine, Hetty."

Callen feigned disinterest at first, but the aroma of the pizza was tempting and he was hungry. Sam took some paper plates out of the bag and put a slice on each plate. He passed one to Hetty and then offered one up to Callen. Callen hesitated, but after a few moments, he took the plate from Sam. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," Sam said as he passed him a soda. He decided not to focus on Callen, thinking that might be a better strategy than trying to force him to talk. Instead, he turned to Hetty. "So, did you see Kensi and Deeks today?"

Hetty nodded. "I did."

"How are they doing?"

Hetty shook her head. "Mr. Deeks didn't appear to be doing very well. Physically, he's definitely doing better, but I think there is something amiss between him and Ms. Blye."

"Well, I'm sure they'll get through it, whatever it is," Sam said. He took a bite of his pizza slice and stole a glance at his partner who was almost halfway through his own slice. He smiled faintly, glad to see even the smallest positive sign that G was doing better.

xxxxx

Deeks had drifted off to sleep shortly after Hetty left and remained sleeping soundly when Kensi quietly came back into his room. She sat down in the chair and observed Deeks as he slept. So much had happened over the past few days, but for the moment, all she wanted to do was bring Deeks home and take care of him. She knew they had a lot to talk about, but she didn't see any reason why they had to rush things. They had time to hash out what had happened between them. She was so focused on her own thoughts that she failed to notice that Deeks had awoken until she glanced at him and was slightly startled to see his blue eyes focused on her.

"Deeks...I'm sorry...I didn't realize you were awake."

"I just woke up."

Kensi nodded and there was an awkward silence between the two of them. Finally, she spoke up again. "I went to see Monty. He's doing good. He seemed happy to see me."

"Of course he was happy to see you," Deeks said quietly. "He doesn't understand why we go off as much as we do. It's not like we can explain it to him."

"I know, but he's used to us coming and going by now. . And you know that he loves Jimmy and has a good time with him. He's well taken care of."

"Is it alright with you if I miss my dog?" Deeks snapped, then immediately looked contrite. "I'm sorry, Kens...I guess I'm just overtired...or something…"

"It's okay," Kensi said softly. "At least we'll be home with him tomorrow…"

"We?" Deeks asked, observing her closely.

"Yes, we," Kensi replied, but then she looked uncertain. "Unless...do you not want me there? Do...do you want me to leave?"

"No…" Deeks said, staring down at his blanket-covered legs, "but...nothing is solved...we...we still have a lot to discuss."

"I know we do, Deeks," Kensi replied, putting her hand over his and squeezing it gently. "But there's no rush, is there? We can take our time. I really think we'll be able to get through this."

"You're right...there's no rush," Deeks said, nodding in agreement. He hoped that this would be as easy to resolve as Kensi seemed to think it would be. Unfortunately, he didn't think it was going to be that simple.

xxxxx

"You want any more pizza?" Sam asked.

Callen shook his head. He had eaten two slices and that was more than enough for him.

Hetty glanced at the two men thoughtfully and wondered if perhaps Sam would have better luck if he was left alone with his partner. "I think I'm going to call it a night," she said as she got to her feet. "I'll be back to see you tomorrow, Mr. Callen."

"Goodnight Hetty," Sam said. "Drive carefully."

Goodnight, gentlemen," Hetty said. She then headed out of the room, leaving Sam and Callen alone.

"So, G… Are you feeling okay?" Sam asked, after Hetty had left.

Callen didn't answer the question, but after a few moments he spoke. "G?" he asked, looking a little bit confused. "That's my name? G?"

Sam sighed softly, not sure how deeply he should go into explanations. He really didn't want to confuse or upset his friend any further if it could be helped. "Your real name is Grisha. G is just what I call you."

Callen nodded, seemingly satisfied with Sam's answer. "Why does Hetty call me Mr. Callen?"

"She does that with all of us," Sam said. "It's just something she does. She calls me, Mr. Hanna, Kensi, Ms. Blye, Deeks is Mr. Deeks."

"Deeks?" Callen asked. Another person he hadn't met yet.

"Yeah, he's Kensi's partner. The four of us work together."

"Kensi…" Callen said thoughtfully. "She was here earlier…I told her to leave."

"You and Kensi are really good friends," Sam said, "and you and me...we've been partners for a very long time. You're like a brother to me."

"Partners?" Callen asked curiously.

"We're federal agents," Sam stated. "We investigate crimes that threaten national security. Sometimes we go undercover."

"Really?" Callen asked, unable to hide his interest. At least he seemed to have an exciting job. That was something.

Sam nodded. "You're very good at what you do, G. You're the leader of our team."

"And where do I live?" Callen asked. Now that he had started to ask questions, he found that he wanted to know more. "Do I have a wife? Children?"

"No," Sam said with a shake of his head. "You have your own house, but you don't have a wife or any children. You've got us though. Me and my two kids, we're family to you, and the team. We're all really close, G."

Callen sighed as he shook his head, finally allowing some vulnerability to show. "But I don't remember...I don't remember any of it…"

"I know you don't, buddy." Sam rested his hand on Callen's shoulder, encouraged when his partner made no move to pull away from him. "But you will. The team and I will do everything we can to help you through this. I can promise you that."


	4. Chapter 4

_Thanks so much for the reviews for the last chapter. Just thought I'd post something to keep the story going, at least for a little bit longer. Thanks for reading._

xxxxx

That night, Deeks managed to sleep as well as could be expected. He was still in a good amount of pain but refused to ask for any more pain medicine, thinking that such a request could possibly prolong his hospital stay. He really needed to get out of this place. He woke up the following morning and could feel Kensi's eyes on him even before he carefully rolled over and saw her gazing at him. "Good morning," he said.

"Good morning...how are you feeling today?"

"I feel good...really good," Deeks replied, forcing a smile. "I wonder what time they'll spring me from this place."

"Are you sure you're really ready to go home?" Kensi asked with concern. "You seemed to be in pain during the night."

"Really? How could you tell that?" Deeks asked.

Kensi shrugged. "You just seemed restless, tossing and turning a lot…"

"I must have been dreaming or something…"

Kensi sighed. She was pretty sure he wasn't being honest with her, but she wasn't willing to go to war with him about it either. They had enough going on between them and she was pretty sure they weren't going to solve anything with him lying in a hospital bed. Maybe, once they were home and in comfortable surroundings, it would be easier for them to talk.

"I want to see Callen before I leave here," Deeks said, after a few moments of silence between them.

Kensi nodded. "I'm sure that will be fine. Maybe you can get some kind of a response from him."

"You mean a good response?" Deeks asked. "I don't know about that, but I want to at least try."

"Well, it can't hurt." She hoped it wouldn't anyway. Then again, her visit to Callen hadn't exactly been helpful.

Deeks looked at the clock on the wall and saw that it was 8:15. "I wonder where breakfast is...they usually bring it earlier than this."

"Are you really hungry? I can go and get you something," Kensi said, moving to get up from the reclining chair she was stretched out on.

"No!" Deeks said quickly. "I was just wondering is all. Maybe I'll get dressed so I'm ready to leave when they release me."

"They're not going to release you this early," Kensi said patiently, knowing how much he wanted to leave. She also knew that with his broken ribs and the cast on his wrist that he was going to need help, as much as he might try to resist. "Try to relax. It won't be that much longer."

"Alright," Deeks said as he cautiously moved into a sitting position, being careful not to visibly react to the pain he felt. Kensi watched him, but didn't comment, being relatively sure he wouldn't be allowed to go home if he wasn't medically able to. Besides, it wasn't like he would be going back to work for a while.

"Good morning!" one of the nurses' aides said cheerfully as she came into the room carrying a tray which she placed on Deeks' bedside table. "Enjoy!"

"That's highly doubtful," Deeks said as he lifted the dome from the tray to see what was hidden underneath. There was a small pile of scrambled eggs, two slices of overdone bacon and a piece of toast which was slightly burnt. To drink was a small carton of orange juice and a cup of coffee which he suspected would be cold. "Yum."

Kensi gave his meal her own visual inspection. "It doesn't look too bad," she commented unenthusiastically.

"Really?" Deeks pushed the plate in her direction. "Go for it."

"I wouldn't take food out of a hospital patient's mouth," Kensi said with a teasing smile. "Now maybe you'll take me up on my offer to go and get you something decent to eat?"

Deeks nodded, smiling back at her. It was moments like these that he could almost forget the barrier that still existed between them. He knew they were going to have to address it soon, but it seemed much easier to put it off, at least for the time being.

xxxxx

Callen was relieved to wake up and find himself alone. It was obvious to him that he was very close to Sam and Betty, but it didn't make him feel much better about things. The previous night, Sam had seemed like he was never going to leave, but finally he had done so. Callen didn't mean to make these people feel bad, but to him they were strangers and their constant scrutiny and expectations were making him anxious.

His attention was drawn to the doorway of his room where a shaggy-haired man in a wheelchair, with a cast on his right wrist, was being pushed in by the woman he had been rude to the day before...Kensi.

"I'll leave you two alone. Deeks, call me when you're ready to leave. I don't want you trying to push this wheelchair with that cast," Kensi said as she started to leave.

"Wait Kensi!" Callen called out to her.

Kensi turned around and stood patiently as she waited for him to speak.

"I...I just wanted to apologize for yesterday," Callen said softly. "I didn't know who you were, but...that's no excuse for being rude. Anyhow, for what it's worth, I'm sorry."

"It's not a problem, Callen," Kensi said with a faint smile. "I know you're going through a hard time. I just want you to get well."

Callen nodded. "Thanks…"

"I'll see you later," Kensi said, as she brushed Deeks' hair back affectionately and then left the two men alone.

"So...you're Deeks?" Callen asked, looking at the other man curiously.

"Yeah," Deeks said with a grin. "Why? Have you heard of me?"

Callen shook his head. "Sam mentioned you."

"So I guess you don't remember me?"

"I don't remember anyone," Callen said, sounding discouraged.

"That must suck," Deeks said, his blue eyes filled with sympathy, "but hopefully that won't last for too long."

"I don't know," Callen said with a shrug. He then looked at Deeks curiously. "So what happened to you? Were we all in an accident or something?"

"Yeah, something like that," Deeks said nodding. Hetty's words of warning were sounding in his head and he didn't want to give Callen more information than he could handle. His eyes went to the dome covered tray on Callen's table. "What did you get for breakfast? Mine wasn't very appetizing."

"Bacon and eggs," Callen said. "It was okay I guess."

"That's good that you ate it. Mine wasn't very good so Kensi went and got us something a little bit more appetizing."

Callen wasn't really sure what he was supposed to say to that so he chose not to say anything.

"So, you don't remember anything at all?" Deeks inwardly chastised himself as he asked the question, wondering if it was going to set Callen off.

"No, nothing…" Callen said, looking lost. "I remember waking up here in the hospital...but not anything before that. Sam and Betty were here when I came to."

Deeks nodded. He really had no idea how he could be of help to Callen. He supposed if he didn't remember Sam and was unable to keep Hetty's name straight, that chances were slim Callen would remember him. "Can I get you anything?" he asked. He really wondered how much of the breakfast Callen had eaten, if anything, but he didn't think picking up the cover and looking underneath would go over very well. Then again, maybe this Callen didn't mind hospital food. Who knew?

"No thanks," Callen said, wondering how Deeks even thought he could do that when he was in a wheelchair with a cast on his wrist. He didn't know them very well, but he was pretty sure that Kensi would be angry if he tried. "I'm sure Sam will be bringing me something when he comes. I think he thinks I'm too scrawny or something."

"We're all kind of scrawny compared to Sam," Deeks said, grinning and he felt rewarded when Callen smiled back at him. "But he's just worried about you. The two of you are really close. You worry about him as much as he worries about you."

"He said we were close, but...I don't know, it's hard when I don't remember. I just feel like I'm disappointing him."

"Don't think like that," Deeks said. "You're not disappointing him. I'm sure about that. Just know how much he cares about you. All of us do."

"Yeah, Sam told me," Callen said. "He said how close we all are, that we're a team...family... It's just kind of hard to believe when I feel like you're all strangers…"

"I know it's hard," Deeks said, nodding understandingly, "but just know that you can come to any one of us for whatever you need, if you have questions or just need to vent. We won't know exactly what you're going through, but we'll try to help the best way we can."

"Okay...thanks," Callen said softly.

"No problem," Deeks said. He tried to put himself into Callen's place, what if he was in this situation and he couldn't remember Kensi, or even worse, what if she couldn't remember him, if she looked at him blankly, like he was just a stranger. He wasn't sure how he would be able to cope with such a thing. It gave him a whole different perspective on things.


	5. Chapter 5

_As always, thanks for those of you still reading this story. I very much appreciate your comments._

xxxxx

Kensi was about to go back into Callen's room, but she stopped short when she heard the two men inside laughing over something. Instead, she decided to give them some more time together and she concealed herself along the side of the doorway. It was obvious to her that Deeks was succeeding where she had failed in making some progress with Callen.

"Kensi? What are you doing out here?" Sam asked as he came up behind her. "Is the doctor in with G?"

Kensi shook her head. "No, he's…" The sound of Callen and Deeks laughing again interrupted her train of thought.

"Who's in there with him?" Sam asked.

"Deeks."

"Oh…" Sam couldn't help the small twinge of jealousy that flared up inside of him. "So, why are you out here?" he asked again.

"I don't know," Kensi said with a shrug. "They're getting along so well...I guess I didn't want to spoil it."

"Well, we can't stand out in the hallway all day," Sam said, feeling irrationally annoyed with Deeks. He was also bothered by the throbbing pain in his leg. "Come on." He entered the room with Kensi walking reluctantly behind him and was stunned when the smile left his partner's face and he looked warily at Sam and Kensi. It hurt more than he wanted to admit.

"Hi G," Sam said, suddenly feeling somewhat unwanted.

"Hi Sam…"

"Hey, Sam, it's good to see you," Deeks said with an easygoing grin.

"Good to see you too," Sam replied. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm doing much better," Deeks said. He then gave Kensi a questioning look. "I didn't realize I'd been here that long."

"You haven't," Kensi told him, "but the doctor came in and says he needs to examine you before they discharge you. I didn't know if you'd want to go back to your room so you can get that done."

Deeks nodded. "Yeah you're right, I do. Thanks Kens." He then turned to Callen and gave him an apologetic look. "Sorry man, I have to go, but I'll be back to see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay, Deeks. Thanks for coming." Callen looked disappointed that Deeks was leaving, but he managed to pull off a half-hearted smile. Sam, watching his partner closely, took all of this in and wondered how Deeks had been so successful in connecting with G.

"Take care of yourself, Deeks," Sam said as Kensi began pushing his wheelchair out of the room.

"Thanks, Sam."

With that, Deeks and Kensi were gone, leaving Callen and Sam together in what already was awkward silence.

xxxxx

Hetty sighed softly as she got herself ready to go to the hospital. Her team was in poor shape and she wished there was some way to help them. She hoped that Ms. Blye and Mr. Deeks would be able to work through whatever problems had cropped up between them and as for Mr. Callen...she really hoped he would regain his memory soon. Her boy had already suffered through so much in his life and this was going to heap more pain upon him in a whole different way. It had taken him a long time to really trust his team and think of them as family. Now, if things didn't change, he was going to have to start all over again. Not only would it be hard on Callen, but she knew it would be difficult for the team as well.

xxxxx

"You and Callen seemed to be getting along well," Kensi commented as she pushed Deeks' wheelchair down the hallway.

Deeks shrugged. "I guess so. He's just really confused about everything. I would be too…"

"Anyone would be," Kensi said, nodding in agreement. "I know I wouldn't want to go through that." They arrived at Deeks' room and Kensi pushed him in through the doorway. "I'm going to go tell the nurse that you're back here and maybe she can track down the doctor for you."

"Okay...thanks." He rolled the wheelchair back and forth with his feet as he waited for Kensi to return. His mind was going in a thousand different directions. He wanted to make everything fine again with Kensi, but hadn't quite figured out his own expectations and he wasn't sure what she was feeling either. He also felt bad for Callen and didn't want to ignore that situation. He felt like he couldn't leave it all on Hetty and Sam, especially since Sam's kids would be back from school any day now. He couldn't help wondering how the three of them were going to cope with spending the summer on Sam's boat, but he supposed that was none of his concern.

"Deeks?" Kensi's voice startled him and he jumped slightly, looking up at her.

"The doctor will be here soon," Kensi told him. She then looked at him speculatively. "Where were you just then? You looked like you were about a million miles away."

"Not a million," Deeks said with a shake of his head. "Closer than that...I was just thinking about Callen and Sam."

"What about them?" Kensi asked as she sat on the edge of his bed.

"Sam's kids will be home soon for the summer. I wonder how Callen is going to fit into things. There's definitely not enough room on Sam's boat. I don't even know if there's enough room for the three of them."

Callen will probably stay with Hetty," Kensi said gently. "He used to live with her. That's probably the best chance for him to get his memory back, to be in a familiar place with familiar things."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. You know he can't even really remember her name. He called her Betty."

"Well...that's pretty close though. He'll get there, Deeks. It's going to take time. Anyhow, I thought you were worried about leaving here. Don't you want to go home?"

"Of course I do," Deeks said. "I'm just thinking is all…"

Just then, the doctor came into the room and after examining Deeks he was pronounced fit to leave the hospital and return home. The doctor told them that the nurse would be in soon with his discharge instructions and wished Deeks well. "I'm so glad you can go home," Kensi said with a smile as she went to close the door and pulled out a bag with sweatpants and a t-shirt that she had bought at a small store right next to the hospital. "These will be nice and loose. I'll help you change."

"Thanks," Deeks said as he carefully managed to get out of the loose-fitting hospital gown he was wearing and allowed Kensi to assist him. It was a little difficult getting him dressed, but they managed, and by the time the nurse came back with his paperwork, he was ready to go home.

xxxxx

"I brought you some breakfast pastries." Sam finally broke the silence and handed Callen a brown paper bag. "It's from one of your favorite place...Stella's Bakery."

"Thank you." Callen smiled politely as he looked into the bag to find two pastry sticks, one raspberry and one apple. "Which one would you like?" he asked Sam, holding the bag out to him.

"They're both for you," Sam said as he sat down heavily in one of the chairs by Callen's bed and rested his cane on the side of the chair. "I try not to eat too many sweets."

"Thanks." Callen debated momentarily before choosing the raspberry pastry and taking a bite of the flaky treat. "Mmm...this is really good."

Sam smiled. Although his partner liked both pastry flavors, he always tended to favor the raspberry. It was good to know some things hadn't changed. He waited for Callen to finish eating the pastry and watched as he carefully closed up the bag and placed the remaining pastry on his nightstand. "I'll have the other one later," Callen explained. "Breakfast wasn't all that great and I'm not expecting lunch to be much of an improvement."

"I can bring you anything you want for lunch," Sam said. "Just ask, G and you've got it."

Callen nodded, but looked down at the bed, appearing to be somewhat uncomfortable again.

"What's the matter?" Sam asked in concern. "Did I saw something wrong?"

"No...you didn't say anything wrong…" Callen sighed then lifted his head and met his partner's gaze. "I just… I know you said we're partners and best friends, and I believe you, but…"

"But what, G?" Sam prompted after Callen fell silent.

"But...it still feels like you're a stranger to me. I'm sorry and I feel terrible about it, but that's what you are to me and it just seems like I'm putting you to a whole lot of trouble when I shouldn't be…"

"But that's just it, G… you're not putting me to any trouble. You're my best friend...my brother. Even though you don't remember it, I do...and I can't forget...I don't want to forget. My feelings are here to stay. They're not going anywhere, buddy." He took Callen's hand and squeezed it, feeling glad when his friend didn't try to pull away, nor did he seem to be uncomfortable with the gesture.

"Thanks Sam…" Looking at the other man, Callen really wished he could remember their relationship. All he knew now was that in spite of all these people who said they cared about him, he still felt very much alone...


	6. Chapter 6

_Thanks to all of you who read and reviewed the last chapter. I really appreciate it. I'm pretty unsure about the Densi scenes in this chapter. I tried my best with them. Hopefully, they're okay._

xxxxx

"Here we are, home sweet home," Kensi said as she opened up the door for Deeks and held it open as he walked inside ahead of her. Monty immediately came running over to him, running around and jumping in excitement. Deeks tried to bend down to pet him, but gasped at the pain in his ribs and quickly straightened up again.

"You'd better sit down," Kensi said softly, the concern for him obvious in her eyes.

"I think you're right." Deeks slowly made his way to the sofa and sat down as Monty jumped up beside him.

"Monty, be careful," Kensi said to the dog. "Daddy's hurt."

Deeks thoughts immediately went back to their argument at Kensi's use of the word 'daddy.' Kensi's did too and the two were caught up in an awkward silence. "Can I get you something to eat or drink?" Kensi asked.

Deeks shook his head. "No...no thank you."

"Okay...well I'd better take Monty out for a walk,' Kensi said. "I won't be long. You just rest."

Deek nodded, his eyes on Kensi as she fastened Monty's leash to his collar and headed out through the front door. He then sighed and leaned his head back against the sofa. He knew they were both just putting off the inevitable. They really needed to discuss what had happened between them.

xxxxx

"I want to go for a walk," Callen stated after an unsuccessful attempt to find something watchable on t.v. He was bored and restless and needed to get out of his room.

"Well, that's fine with me," Sam said, "but you're going to need to clear it with the doctor first."

"He's not here." Callen tossed the covers aside and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. "You're a big guy. I'm sure you can catch me if I fall."

"G…" Sam said, a warning tone in his voice. "Wait." He pressed the call button and stared back at his friend. "Don't make me stop you."

Callen rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. "I was only kidding about falling. I'm not going to fall."

"Like I said, if the doctor okays it, I'm all for it," Sam stated.

"If I okay what?" Dr. Perez asked as he came into the room.

"He wants to go for a walk," Sam said.

"I'm capable of speaking for myself," Callen said, glaring at his partner.

"I'm sorry, G," Sam replied, looking contrite.

"Well, let me see how you're doing before we come to any decisions," Dr. Perez said as he proceeded to examine Callen. "Any dizziness or headaches?"

"No," Callen said and then reconsidered his answer. "Maybe just a little…"

"Which? Headaches or dizziness?"

"I guess both," Callen admitted.

Sam had to say, he found his friend's honesty a bit unnerving. There was no doubt in his mind that Callen would have blown off his symptoms if he was himself. He likely wouldn't have mentioned them at all.

"I'll get a physical therapist to walk with you."

"I don't need a physical therapist," Callen said. "Sam can walk with me."

"Let me see you stand up before I decide anything."

Callen carefully stood up and balanced himself. He then took one careful step, then another, appearing to be steady on his feet. "Okay?" he asked the doctor.

Dr. Perez turned to Sam. "You think you'll be okay walking with him?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, it should be fine."

"Okay, but take the wheelchair with you." The doctor turned back to Callen. "If you start to get tired or dizzy at all, you sit in the wheelchair. I don't want you falling."

Callen sighed. "I'm not going to fall."

"In my experience, there aren't a lot of people who think they are going to fall before it happens," Dr. Perez said. "You don't want to be here any longer than you have to be, do you?"

"No…" Callen admitted reluctantly. "We'll take the wheelchair. But speaking of not being here longer than I have to be, when do you think I can go home?"

"We'll discuss it tomorrow," the doctor said. "Let's see how today goes. Plus, you need to make arrangements for someone to stay with you or for you to stay at someone else's home."

"What? What are you talking about?" Callen asked, looking distressed at this latest unexpected development. He hadn't thought of this possibility. "I'm fine. I can take care of myself."

"Can you?" Dr. Perez asked.

Callen nodded. "Yes...yes, I can."

"Then tell me, what's your address?"

Callen stared back at the doctor blankly. "I...I don't know," he admitted.

"Your phone number? Where do you work? What town do you live in?"

"I DON'T KNOW," Callen's frustrations were evident as he struggled unsuccessfully to answer the doctor's questions.

"So, hopefully you can understand why I can't leave you to your own devices," Dr. Perez said gently. "You're going to need to have someone with you for a while. In addition to the memory loss, head injuries can sometimes prove to be unpredictable. I wouldn't be any kind of a doctor if I just released you on your own. That's something you're going to need to figure out before we even discuss you leaving the hospital. I'll be back to see you tomorrow morning. Don't overdo it."

"I won't," Callen mumbled. He watched as the doctor left the room then sat back down on the edge of his bed. "Well, this sucks…"

"Come on, G...you really didn't think he was going to let you leave on your own, did you?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Callen challenged, his blue eyes intense as he stared back at Sam. "I'm not a baby."

"No one is saying you are," Sam said patiently.

"Well, I don't know what to do now," Callen said, hanging his head.

"Don't worry, buddy," Sam said as he placed his hand on Callen's shoulder in a comforting gesture. "We'll figure it out."

xxxxx

Deeks had fallen into a light sleep, but he quickly awoke when he heard Kensi and Monty come back into the house. Monty ran excitedly to his master and jumped up onto the sofa beside him. The dog then settled down and contentedly rested his head on Deeks' lap while Deeks petted him.

"How are you doing?" Kensi asked, sitting down on the couch with Monty between them.

"I'm fine," Deeks said, his attention on Monty as he continued to gently pat the dog in a rhythmic motion.

Kensi nodded and the couple once again fell into an awkward silence. Finally, Kensi broke it. "I hate this."

Deeks looked at Kensi, but didn't say anything, unsure if they were really going to have this conversation or not.

Kensi sighed, turning her body so that she was facing him.. "Come on Deeks...you're not usually at a loss for words."

"I just...I didn't know if we were really going there now…"

Kensi shrugged. "When should we go there? I think we'd both like to put it off indefinitely, but that's not really practical."

Deeks sighed as he leaned into the sofa, his eyes filled with emotion. "We were almost killed, Kens...not just me and you, but Callen, Sam and Hidoko too… Our whole team was almost wiped out."

"I know…" Kensi said, her eyes welling with tears. "I thank God every day that the team is okay… that you're okay. I don't know what I would have done... " she trailed off, realizing that she was likely supporting Deeks' opinion, but she wasn't sure she cared anymore. Deeks was more important to her than anything, even the job she loved so much.

"And that's how I feel too," Deeks said softly. "And I hate that this job is so damn dangerous, and that one day I could be in Sam's shoes…"

"I can't promise you that will never happen," Kensi said, bowing her head as the tears she'd been trying to hold back, began flowing fast and furiously. "I wish I could, but…"

"Baby, don't...don't cry," Deeks pleaded softly. He hated to see her cry, especially since he felt that he was the cause of her tears.

"I...I don't want to lose you," Kensi said. "I can't lose you. If...if you want me to quit...I'll do it. I'll do it for you, Deeks."

Deeks gazed back at Kensi, stunned that it had been that easy, that she was willing to give up her career for him, but her words didn't make him feel the way he had thought they would. He now knew he couldn't force her to give up her job for him, not until she really wanted to. "I don't want you to quit, Kens…not now...not like this."

Kensi raised her head and looked at him stunned. "You don't? but…"

Deeks shook his head. "I was upset, baby...really upset. "I said some things I didn't mean. More than anything, I would like for us to be married with children, and to have jobs that are safe, or as safe as anything can really be in this day and age. But...if you're not ready for that...I'm not going to force you. The most important thing is that we're together, because nothing in the future is a certainty, we know that more than anyone, and I don't want to give up a day of us being together now, even if it means giving up some of the things I want for us someday."

"Deeks...I want those things too," Kensi said, moving in closer to him and putting her hand on the side of his face as Monty jumped down off the sofa. "More than anything, I want to have your babies and have our own little family. I don't know how I'll feel in six months or a year from now. I might suddenly wake up one morning and decide that I've had enough too, or that's it time for us to try to have a baby and then everything could change. I just can't make promises to you about when exactly that will happen..."

"I understand," Deeks said, smiling as she leaned in and kissed him, then pulled back, gazing into his eyes. "This….this is what I can't do without. I love you so much, Kensi...more than I ever thought I could love anyone."

"I love you too, Deeks..so much. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"That's what I want too, baby…" Deeks said as Kensi gently curled against him and he stroked her hair lovingly. "This is all I need."


End file.
